I don't really have the energy to think of something creative for the title...so that is that.
Disclaimer: I'm going to try to be as transparent as possible, which means you're going to hear about my struggles. But I'll try to include the positive things that happen as well. This post is quite long too...
Today is day 3 in Thailand. It's incredibly overwhelming to be here and not necessarily in a good way. Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for the opportunity to be here, but I'm finding that this is so much harder than I thought it would be. Day to day life is much more difficult because everything is different...the culture, the language.
I'm finding that I am lonely a lot of the time. By a lot I mean like 80% of the time. That is not an exaggeration. I have my mentor (Jamie) here but I can only spend so much time with her, after all she has a family and she is also a student. Yesterday when I finally met Jamie (face to face, we had communicated through email) almost the first thing she told me was that I would struggle with loneliness. she has mentored 6 girls before me--they all struggled with it --and she said she still struggles with it herself, even after being here for 3.5 years.
There are lots of other missionaries here, but most of them are Swiss. I have nothing against the Swiss, in fact I'm part Swiss - my mother's family can be traced directly back to Switzerland. However, they are Swiss, hence another language and culture that I have to navigate. They all know some english, but its choppy and its pretty tiring to have a conversation with them. It's just a lot of work to listen. I'm finding that I have to put twice as much work at least into a conversation with them. And did I mention that most of them are at least twice my age...add that to the list of barriers between us.
Today I started Thai lessons. For those of you who don't know Thai is a tonal language. There is no comparison between western and eastern languages. There is truly no way to describe how challenging the language is.
There are some bright spots:
Disclaimer: I'm going to try to be as transparent as possible, which means you're going to hear about my struggles. But I'll try to include the positive things that happen as well. This post is quite long too...
Today is day 3 in Thailand. It's incredibly overwhelming to be here and not necessarily in a good way. Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for the opportunity to be here, but I'm finding that this is so much harder than I thought it would be. Day to day life is much more difficult because everything is different...the culture, the language.
I'm finding that I am lonely a lot of the time. By a lot I mean like 80% of the time. That is not an exaggeration. I have my mentor (Jamie) here but I can only spend so much time with her, after all she has a family and she is also a student. Yesterday when I finally met Jamie (face to face, we had communicated through email) almost the first thing she told me was that I would struggle with loneliness. she has mentored 6 girls before me--they all struggled with it --and she said she still struggles with it herself, even after being here for 3.5 years.
There are lots of other missionaries here, but most of them are Swiss. I have nothing against the Swiss, in fact I'm part Swiss - my mother's family can be traced directly back to Switzerland. However, they are Swiss, hence another language and culture that I have to navigate. They all know some english, but its choppy and its pretty tiring to have a conversation with them. It's just a lot of work to listen. I'm finding that I have to put twice as much work at least into a conversation with them. And did I mention that most of them are at least twice my age...add that to the list of barriers between us.
Today I started Thai lessons. For those of you who don't know Thai is a tonal language. There is no comparison between western and eastern languages. There is truly no way to describe how challenging the language is.
There are some bright spots:
- Jamie's husband, Tim, is from Vandalia, IL -- for those of you who don't know that's about 10 minutes away from my hometown!
- I made one of my first friends at Thai class. Her name is Cara and she's been here for about 3 months. She is on a 2 year internship for her masters degree. I'm hoping that we will have time to hang out together in the coming weeks. She gave me some good tips - drink lots of water, get LOTS of sleep, don't be too hard on yourself. It was so good to have someone to identify with who understands the loneliness and knows what it is like to miss home. And she's American!
- Jamie is awesome! I don't know her that well at all, but she is open and honest with me and is a reminder to me that God really is faithful and that my time in Thailand can be an incredible experience.
- I don't really know how to explain the place where I live. I guess its like a dorm. I have my own bathroom (which I love!). One half of the dorm is for people like me, the other half is missionary kids. I think that most of the kids are American, at least they all speak good english. The dorm parents are also American. Last night I ate dinner with them and I really look forward to getting to know them more.
- The Thai people are super friendly and polite. And the Thai teacher that I have is hilarious. She described herself as hyperactive. She could not be more right! She jumps around the room all the time.
- While the Thai language is tonal, making it rather complicated...there are parts of the Thai language that are much less complicated than English.
- I have internet access all the time and I love hearing from home! So...please leave me comments or email me. Better yet send me real mail. I love mail! (hint, hint)
Right now I am trying to take things a day at a time, which is easier said than done. Today was not great, probably not even good. BUT today was better than yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before.
You have no idea how thankful I am for your prayers. Please pray for about the whole loneliness issue - that my loneliness won't become debilitating and also that God will do some of his greatest work during my quiet and alone times. I would also really appreciate it if you would pray for my mind to be sharp - for learning Thai and just in general.
Much love to all of you.
You have no idea how thankful I am for your prayers. Please pray for about the whole loneliness issue - that my loneliness won't become debilitating and also that God will do some of his greatest work during my quiet and alone times. I would also really appreciate it if you would pray for my mind to be sharp - for learning Thai and just in general.
Much love to all of you.
I guess you don't have to tell me what's up so far, I should just read your blog. It sounds like your having quite the time so far. I am glad you made a friend and I hope you do get to hang out with her. I will pray that you become less lonely feeling. Keep up the communicating with your Thai and Swiss people, maybe you will even be related to one! That would be Kewl! Take as many random pictures as possible! That will give you something to do during the times you feel lonely. If you find any frog related things, take pictures of that, and think of me :) I also hope you get to ride an elephant or something! Well I love you lots and I know things will get more exciting, maybe more challenging but it will be good I'm sure. I think you are sleeping right now which is weird but I'll write to you again!
ReplyDeleteLove, Danielle Lea
My Roommate! You are a brave brave girl. Lol... I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, just so you know, I ate Thai food today and it was delicious! Have you been able to eat up the thai food? If so, what do you think of it? I NEED TO KNOW!
ReplyDeleteOkay... I'm just really sleep deprived and my brain is being silly.
Love ya Roomatoid!
p.s. Will you still be reading the postsecrets while you're there? I don't know why I asked that