Thoughts on Change

I remembered the other day that when I turned 24 I set all of these goals for myself that I wanted to accomplish before I turned 25. I then said I was going to revisit this list each month and see how I was doing. I think that lasted maybe 2 months and let me just tell you: I'm not making a lot of progress.

I think I really underestimated how much change was going to happen in my 24th year of life. I didn't know that Seth was going to get a different job or that we were going to move to a different town back in January.

However, I did know that I was going to be starting my internship and taking on a completely foreign to me schedule. I really did not think through how much that change would effect me though. I don't think I've ever had to work 4 days straight. There has always been a day in there to break things up so my body is really making a big adjustment to that.

I really noticed this after my car accident when every muscle in my body ached. By noon I was about to fall asleep at my desk -- this has happened every day I've gone into work since then. There just must be something about the particular muscles that move the most when you sit at a desk in front of a computer, or drive, or pretty much anything that has you moving your shoulders a lot.

All of this to say, I made some really lofty goals and I am now realizing that realistically they are not all going to happen. For my own mental health I just need to admit that. I really wanted to be able to run in a 5K this year, but with all of the other stuff going on in my life, the last change I want to make to my schedule is to decide to get up an hour earlier in the morning to run. (Sidenote: I think it will be easier to get up and run when I have control over my schedule everyday. My schedule isn't as flexible as it was when I first started, meaning I kind of have a routine, but I still have to work with other people a lot and I don't feel like I completely own my schedule.)

I've realized that when my life gets hectic I start getting back to basics. I cut out running and sleep a little longer. I don't cook dinner and we eat out. I'm not sure when I'll find the balance and be able to work out, have a full-time job, budget, meal plan, and not feel overwhelmed by trying to do it all.

I've decided that getting my master's degree is going to be a big enough accomplishment on it's own. And if I have a job...even better. Running a 5K would be nice, but there will always be a 5K I can run next year.