Culture Shock

Culture Shock— n. a sense of confusion and uncertainty with feelings of anxiety.

That pretty much sums up how I feel. However, that is not how I feel in relation to Thai culture. I was prepared to be frustrated by the differences between East and West and I was prepared to feel lost and confused living in a city where everyone speaks a different language and uses different symbols to express words. That I was prepared for. Some days I am frustrated with my inabilities to communicate to a Thai person. I learned a pretty broad vocabulary when I took Thai class, but it is really hard to retain the vocab when you don't use it on a daily basis. Thai people are very understanding of my shortcomings, though. They love that I am trying to learn to speak their language. No matter how horribly I butcher their language, they still tell me that I speak beautifully. I had heard before I came that Thai people are some of the friendliest people in the whole world and I would say that is true for most of them.

I feel culture shocked when I think about the people I have to work with. Most of them are Swiss, which is ironic since my mother's family can trace themselves back to Switzerland. Most of the short-termers are Swiss and the others have no grasp of Thai. They have not taken lessons and essentially know how to hi and thank you. I am not saying this to belittle them, but rather to give some context for the comment that one of them made to me which was discouraging and insensitive to say the least. One morning at the staff coffee break, the cell phone for the guest house rang and I answered. The person on the other end spoke only Thai so I handed the phone off to a Mekong staff person who spoke Thai fluently. Immediately after I did that the comment made was, "Didn't you go to Thai class for six weeks? Didn't you do that so that you could talk on the phone? Most people who go to class can do that at least. What was the point of your class?" Thankfully, another staff member came to my rescue and said that it took him years to master being able to talk on the phone to a Thai person. In my own defense, I think the comment made shows the ignorance of the person speaking. Ignorant of how complex the language learning process is and ignorant of the Thai language, which is tonal making it much more difficult to master. No one learns a language in six weeks. Just in case you wondered, the caller had the wrong number.

The person I work with the most (aside from Jamie, my field mentor) is a 65 year old Swiss woman. She is by far the source of my anxiety and uncertainty and confusion. The only specific instructions I have ever been given by her are about unlocking in the mornings, locking up in the evenings, refilling the snack bar and answering email. At most those activities take about an hour, maybe two, of my time. That leaves an awful lot of free time. I later found out that on monday, wednesday, and friday mornings I am responsible for a staff coffee break. There are other parts to the job, but I learned them as I went, each of them a surprise and an opportunity to be told that I did something wrong. I often feel that I am held responsible for information that I never knew in the first place. Which leads me to feel like this woman is out to make me look like a fool. I constantly feel like I am walking on eggshells, afraid that I am going to screw up without even knowing it. I dread going to the Hudson House because I feel like it is an opportunity for her to shame me yet again. Even worse is that I feel I can't talk about this to anyone because it will get back to her. Most of the people I interact with are part of the Mekong Center or at least know of this woman and I don't feel comfortable talking about her to any of them. I don't want advice and I don't want to do damage to her reputation. Others think she is the nicest woman. (I think it is because she isn't telling them what to do...). Basically I need someone to vent to, but I don't have that so I am venting to you, my faithful blog readers. I really need prayer in this area, personally I have been praying that God would grant me favor in her eyes.

I would also invite you to pray about the pollution here. I am supposed to fly to Mae Hong Son, Thailand later this week to visit an OMF missionary. She was in town this week and stopped by the office. She mentioned that flights have been cancelled because of all the pollution. Her words were "don't worry, but pray."