Thoughts From Graduation

At graduation we sang the song Blessed Be Your Name. Part of the song says, "blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name." That song hit me like a brick wall because for the first time since I don't know when I contemplated the implications of what I was saying. I was confronted by those lyrics becasue that isn't exactly what I did the last four months. There was a lot of pain in those months and I'll just go ahead and admit that there wasn't a lot of praise. Since I can't go back and undo things, I am going to choose from this point on to praise, even when there's pain. Even when it doesn't make a lot of sense. Because God is sovereign and he works all things for good.

Let Me Catch My Breath

This isn't either one of the promised posts, but it is something that needs to be shared.

I never realized just how slow life was in Thailand until I got back to the states. I feel like I have been running the whole time I've been back (it's only been a week). Today is the first time that I have been able to actually sit and not feel obligated to do something, although I am typing this blog and I felt obligated to do that. I don't even know how to sit still anymore. It is like being back in the states makes me just want to do and do and do some more. Maybe part of it is that i just moved into an apartment and I'm still unpacking and getting organized. I just don't know.

I keep noticing the most random things that are different between Thailand and Illinois (there are many obvious differences). Like everyone wearing shoes indoors. Or the fact that I am wearing a coat inside and I am still cold. Or the soft and comfy furniture. And carpet. And I'm not in the minority anymore as a caucasian.

When I arrived in Chiang Mai, I am sure I described myself as overwhelmed more than a few times. What surprised me (kinda) is that I felt overwhelmed coming home. It was so weird to go to church on sunday and know the majority of the people there. The overwhelming part was knowing that they all wanted to talk to me and I had kinda been anti-social for the last four months. (Ok...I wasn't anti-social, but people weren't lining up to talk to me.) It is a really strange dichotomy what happened: to people I know really well I will talk, talk, and talk some more, about totally random things too; however, with acquaintances I try to avoid talking to them as much as possible. It was also weird to come home to two closets full of stuff. It was overwhelming to pick out something to wear after having about seven outfits to choose from in Thailand. I guess moving 4 days after I got back wasn't the brightest idea either, but I did and I feel a lot less overwhelmed about that than I did a week ago.

So, now I am just trying to find a new normal in my life. Trying to find a rhythm again. Learning yet again how to budget my time. Trying to figure out the good things that came from Thailand. Trying to figure out where to go from here.

Back In the U.S.A.

I'm home. It's kinda weird. In a good way. Well, except for the jet lag--it's weird in a bad way. I am not a fan of waking up at 4 am. But I am a fan of seeing people I haven't seen for 4 months so I suppose it's a fair trade, if not slightly weighted in my favor.

A Preview of What's to Come

Coming soon: a blog dedicated to the people I have met in Thailand that have made me a better person. After that, a reflection on the last four months, what I've learned and what not.

I can't believe I only have three days left here. I am beyond ready to be back, though. The flight(s) back should be interesting and I would really appreciate your prayers, especially considering the 9 minute layover that I have in Atlanta.

See you all soon!

I just burnt my thumb lighting the stove, in case anyone wondered.