151/365: Mistook

Would someone please tell me that I don't look like I am eighteen?

I know I look young but I didn't think I looked that young.

Today at a meeting with DCFS I was mistaken for being the client.

I know one day I will love being mistaken for being six years younger than I actually am, but right now I just want to look my actual age.

150/365: Gluttons for Punishment

Well, we did it. The apartment was emptied. Mostly.

149/365: Heading to a Wedding

It's just not sunday unless there is a picture of the dogs.

The wedding was at Starved Rock State Park.

These were our favors as well as directing us to the take we were to sit at.  Each table was named after a different opera.

148/365: Even MORE Moving

I am not sure what it is, but it seems Seth and I are having so much fun moving our own stuff that we decided we should go to St. Louis today and help his best friend move. We left at 7 am, which is entirely way too early for a saturday morning.

I was pleasantly surprised once this was our view.

As was I when I saw his current apartment.  It was so cute and quaint. Unfortunately his lease was not renewed because the property owner wanted to renovate and update. So we moved him to another neighborhood.

Seth and I decided that he has more stuff than the both of us combined. (Not pictured to protect his manhood). We spent much of the day calling him a girl simply because of all the stuff he had!

147/365: More Moving

The only picture I snapped today. This rug is yet another item that has been in storage since we got married. Now, we finally have a bathroom that is big enough for this rug to be out on the bathroom floor.

146/365: Not So Welcome Interruptions

A few days ago I was thankful for the interruptions in my life. Not so much today.

During a home visit this morning I got a phone call that let me know I would be attending 8th grade graduation so that a child in foster care would get to see his sister graduate from 8th grade.

After graduation, I went to her graduation "party," which was really just the immediate family (minus the father and adding a couple random friends) eating a homemade cake and store bought ice cream.

The lady that lived there was very interesting.... One of her dogs had a gimp leg that made me gag every time I looked in its direction. She fed this dog cake and ice cream. At one point I looked over and she was setting a bite size piece of cake and a small spoonful of ice cream on top of the stove. I guess I must have had a confused look on my face because she explained that was for the mouse. She liked to feed her mouse so that it would not get into her food.

Never a dull moment in social work!

145/365: Good Deal

Today, I was dying of thirst.

I got this 44 ounce soda for 43 cents.

Yes, that is less than a cent an ounce.

What I Needed to Hear Today

Let no one caught in sin remain inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross and run to Him who showed great love
And bled for us, freely You've bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead, we are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Beneath the weight of all our sin You bowed to none but Heaven's will
No scheme of Hell, no scoffer's crown, no burden great can hold You down
In strength You reign, forever let Your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead we are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light, the glory of God has defeated the night

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light, our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive

Christ is risen from the dead trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead we are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

"Christ is Risen" --Matt Maher


Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. It comes with the territory I am sure. When the majority of what you see on a daily basis is brokenness, it is easy to forget about the Creator, Healer, and Redeemer.


Thus far, I am mostly working with two cases. They could not be more opposite. Well, that's not totally true -- there are a lot of things that overlap, most prominently the use of substances. The biggest difference is one parent realizes the mistakes that have been made and the other has no clue. One family will probably get their children back and the other probably won't. 


I could feel the presence of God yesterday in the counseling office. This client gets it. Whatever it is. Mistakes have been made and they recognize that. And in a way that only God could orchestrate, they get what the grace of God means. I have not seen what this client was like before treatment, but I have read the file and it was not pretty. I truly cannot believe that it is the same person. This is what the redemption of God looks like. 

"If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new!"
 -- 2 Corinthians 5:17

144/365: A Sign of Moving

The bare walls are just one of the signs we are moving. Today I took down pretty much anything that was hanging on the wall. The only things that remain are a clock and a Cars poster. The various piles of stuff are another sign that we are moving. Or that I have been too busy to clean.

142/365: Lazy Sunday

**Please excuse the demon eyes**


Judge and Phoebe in their natural habitat. Phoebe, being Miss Priss with her head resting on a pillow. Judge, sitting in his "tent" under the raised footrest, one of his favorite spots.

141/365: Fine China

After almost a year, I finally get to open these boxes. The boxes that hold my "casual" china.

I actually have fine china that my mom and grandma bought for me when I was a small child. I have only even seen the fine china two times in my life. Once, when I begged my mom to show me and then again, a couple years ago when my parents were moving to a different house. My brothers got fiestaware, which is MUCH more practical but I am pretty sure neither one of them have gotten any use out of their dishes either. For now, all of our dishes live in a basement; probably not what my mom and grandma had in mind when they bought them.

Not only do I have fine china, I also have fine silverware (what do you call really nice silverware?) that has been sitting in that same basement for years and years. Unlike the china, I have actually seen the silverware several times and I think I even got to pick it out. I know that I still like the design, which just goes to show my taste is consistent from when I was a small child to now that I am a "grown" woman -- whatever that means.

Anyway, back to the casual china at hand! This was a wedding present from my step mom's entire family -- 8 place settings!!! Although a rather boring gift, it was probably my favorite. It was the gift I never would have bought for myself, ever. Since this was such an expensive gift I never unpacked the dishes to use because I thought I was going to be moving somewhere later that summer. I didn't realize it would be almost a year before I moved.

140/365: Thankful for Interruptions

I never would have dreamed that during grad school I would meet such wonderful people and decide I should make room for them in my life. I distinctly remember thinking that my world was full enough, save a MSW degree. My goal was not to make friends. I had one goal: get done with grad school as soon as possible so I could resume my normally scheduled life.

Thank goodness that God interrupted my normally scheduled life. The very first day of class  we were instructed to break up into pairs for a project that would last the whole summer. Honestly, Becca and I had no intention of choosing the other. She thought she was going to be partners with another girl in the class that she had previously worked with and well, I certainly wasn't planning on becoming partners with girl who had talked the most thus far into class. But there we were, everyone else had partnered up and we were left with each other.

If someone would have told me that morning I was going to meet one of my best friends I would have laughed in their face. But here I am, almost a year later and I am attending her son's birthday party. I drove over an hour to attend the party. Just because that is how much I love their family.

Becca is a role model for me. She is only a few years older than me, but I hope I can learn from the example she sets of how to be a great wife, mom, and professional.

139/365: Catch-Up

This picture was not taken today. Today was another whirlwind day, with a lot of it spent in the car. And one very....interesting...home visit.

This picture is from almost two weeks ago when Seth and I got our new phones. This was the first picture I took, as I was waiting on my phone to activate and actually have a signal.

Ironically, I was making the same face this morning as I tried to set up my computer for the Elluminate session I have to participate in tomorrow morning. Right now it appears that my computer does not like the whole headset thing. And I completely agree....I have a built in microphone so there's really no point in having an audio-in port. However, the instructor seems to think it is necessary for us to all have headsets and look like telemarketers.

138/365: Go, Go, Go

Today was just insanity. In a good way. It was completely one thing to the next. First, court and then off to pick up kids for visits and assessments and then taking them home. It was a full ten hour day. No breaks at all. So, I ate in the the van. At least I had a delicious rice bowl from Moe's for lunch to power me through the day!

137/365: Paint Chip

Last night I went to the mart and picked out every yellow paint chip they had. This isn't even all of them!

You see, I took a hideous shelf down in the kitchen only to discover it had been painted around. Not wanting to repaint the whole kitchen I decided it would be easier to try to match the current color.

I think I found a match...but only time will tell...

136/365: Firsts

Today was a day of firsts. Seth started his new job and I started my internship.

I got this cool keychain.

And....this is the back. Oh yea, I will be sporting an abstinence keychain.

135/365: Laundry

This quite possibly could be the last time I have to leave my apartment building to do laundry.

Woot.

134/365: Commencement

I had the honor and privilege of watching some wonderful people graduate today. I must confess, it brought back a lot of memories and made two years ago seem like two days ago.




Oh, LCC, you were so formative and yet I am so thankful you are only a memory now.

Speaking of memories, I will remember the poor kid in the choir who passed out during the service today. Poor guy.

133/365: Key to my Heart

This is the key to our apartment. Literally. I almost died (in a good way)  when I saw it. It is like a childhood dream come true to actually have a functioning skeleton key. So cute and quaint, just like the apartment.

132/365: Love at First Sight

I saw this dresser and I wanted it. How can you not love it?

131/365: Summer is Here

Summer is here. My feet have been rubbed raw by every single pair of sandals I own and I am now limited to this one pair of black flip-flops that miraculously does not scrape my wounds, nor create new ones.

And, to escape the sweltering heat in the apartment, I hung out with the Judge.

130/365: I Love it When a Plan Comes Together

Well after the crazy apartment hunting experience I had to go to a doctor's appointment. On the bright side, it was near a Target so I took the chance to indulge myself. While I was there I pretty much convinced myself that we needed to rent apartment #1. I discovered the solution to the lack of kitchen storage:

Apartment Hunting

We looked at apartments today. In smalltown, USA. Seriously.

Apartment #1 was above a car dealership. 

Pros: hardwood floor, 2 big closets, hardwood floor, heated floors in the winter (it's above the showroom), we can paint if we want, awesome landlord, and last but certainly not least--shared washer/dryer with the other 2 tenants (!!!!) 

Cons: smallest kitchen ever, very little cabinet/counter space

Apartment #2 is when things got weird.

Pros: good layout and lots of space

Cons: smells like old people, nasty carpet, probably weird landlord, creepy barbershop downstairs

Now, for the back story about the weirdness. I talked to the landlord on the phone and he said the apartment was a barbershop where his dad was the barber and if we stopped by his dad would give us the keys and let us have a look around. Sounds legit, right? Wrong.

We walk into the barbershop to see, literally, piles of stuff everywhere: on the floors, the counters, in the sinks. Everywhere. There were also hats everywhere. Hanging from the ceiling, hanging on the wall. Everywhere. The only things that indicated we were in a barbershop were the barber chairs (is that what they're called?) and a can of barbasol. There was also an old woman and an old man sitting at a folding table staring at us incredulously. Unfortunately, this was only the beginning.

The "barber" offered us some coffee, to which we said, "heck no" and got to work looking for the key to the apartment, which was quite the chore given the amount of crap in this place. He had to have had at least 20 keys he looked at, but none of them were the key to the apartment (side note: once we actually got to the apartment, we found that it was unlocked). He said he had to get the key from his son and would be right back. He also offered us a soda, which we accepted. 

There we were with the strange old people staring at us. With the "barber" gone, the woman took her cue and began talking incessantly. First, she informed us of the price of coffee at every single place in town that served coffee. (I learned that Pizza Hut serves coffee--$1.29 in case you are wondering). She concluded that "She comes here because the coffee is free." She then carried on about baking a chocolate cake that "was going to be richer than the devil." At this point the old man got up and started showing us his collection of military flags and his presentation concluded with him trying to sell some poppies (you know, the ones that veterans stand in the street to sell around memorial day?) to us. 

About this time another man came in without saying a word, but took his seat next to the other two and started staring at us like the others. At this point the woman started talking about all the farmland she and her husband used to own and how she raised her own chickens. Thankfully, another man came in and distracted her for a minute. However, he was carrying a plate of hamburgers and hotdogs so the weirdness continued.

About thirty seconds later the "barber" came back and had the key with him thank goodness. We practically ran out of there. We had a quick look at the apartment. Well, after we recovered from being knocked over by the smell of old people the moment we walked in. We took the key back to the "barbershop" and were invited to stay for some hotdogs and potato salad.

Needless to say, we declined and got the heck out of there! Apartment #1 suddenly seemed like heaven on earth.

129/365: D-O-N-E

Today I finished my MSW course work.vTo celebrate, I drove my car to school and paid for parking--a real treat for me. Usually I have to catch the bus and live by the bus schedule. Since I was taking a final, I figured I would just allow myself the option of leaving as soon as I got done instead of waiting on the bus. Not to mention, I got to leave home a whole half hour later since we were busy this morning getting new phones.

Oh look, there goes my bus. But I'm not riding today, yippee! How I will enjoy not standing here waiting on the bus to come! The dog days are over. (Whatever that means.)

The School of Social Work, whose doors I will not darken again. At least, anytime soon.

**This post brought to you by new phone and its cool camera.**

128/365: Happy Mother's Day

It's my mother in-law's favorite children: the dogs!

Poor Phoebe...Judge is such a show off. I am pretty sure that is Phoebe's annoyed face.

**Judge is the white dog, a Great Pyranees/Lab mix. Phoebe is the Golden Retreiver.**

127/365: Feeding the Addiction

Miss Hannah is getting married. I couldn't be happier for her and Cole. I was so honored to be invited to her wedding shower and be able to feed her coffee addiction. (Just one addict helping another out) I bought her (them) a coffee grinder so they can have fresh coffee!

125/365: My Favorite Holiday

I have decided that Cinco de Mayo is my new favorite holiday. Not because of what it symbolizes or anything like that, but because of the food. And the drink.

Wait, it does symbolize something important. On this day two years ago I left Thailand. Yes, a good day indeed.

But back to the food and the drink. So festive and just right for this time of year. Something about mexican cuisine just screams summer to me. Maybe it's all the spice. Or maybe it's the fruity margaritas that are so amazing on a hot summer day.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Ole!

There Are No Coincidences

Last week one of my friends said to me, 'I'm starting to think that there are no coincidences."

I'm inclined to agree with her. this comment came after I told her about being passed by a friend on the highway on the way home from school.

It got me thinking about the other coincidences that have happened in my life.

Is it just coincidence that I was accepted into the U of I's School of Social Work program, this year, where I have made what will probably be lifelong friends?

Is it coincidence that my mom had leukemia and my step-sister's dad also had leukemia? And that I am great friends with my step-sister?

Is is coincidence that friends of mine were prevented from flying to Asia the day after the most wanted terrorist was killed?

Is it coincidence that my internship and Seth's new job start on the exact same day and that neither one of us had any control over our start dates?

I think I am becoming more convinced that there are no coincidences. The orchestration of God is nothing short of amazing. I'm no Calvinist, but I certainly think that it is amazing the way God works in the details. I love the rare moments I am able to recognize God's hand in the details.

I'm starting to think there are no coincidences.

121/365: The Curse of Academia

Today, I attended the School of Social Work Award Ceremony.

Once I got there, I kind of regretted going at all. Only one of my friends was there and honestly, I could have cared less about the others in attendance.

The absence of a friend, who is very skilled and intelligent, made me keenly aware of the arbitrary nature of award ceremonies. As long as you look good on paper you get invited. Sure, most of the people deserve to be awarded, but there were plenty of people not invited who deserved to be there as well. That's not the main reason I regretted going, though. Aside from not caring who was there and feeling slightly high schooler-ish, I began to realize I was very anxious.

Blessedly, I have not felt anxiety over grades since high school. Assignments, yes. Grades, no. In college I didn't stress about maintaining a 4.0, especially since I blew my chances my very first semester in, of all the classes, Intro to the Bible. From there on out, I wasn't concerned. Grad school, up until today, was the same situation. Last semester I was truly shocked when I got A's in all of my classes and I am still kind of shocked, considering how poorly I did on a couple of my midterms.

Today, the anxiety over grades returned. I am ashamed to say it returned because suddenly I remembered how good it felt to be recognized in front of my peers. Students were recognized that were graduating with honors (read 4.0) and anxiety swelled inside of me. I wanted to graduate with honors. I wanted to be honored in front of my peers. I was all the more anxious because it is the end of my last semester of classes and well, I think a 4.0 is probably impossible.

After having a few hours away from the pomp and circumstance, my nerves have calmed and my anxiety has returned to a normal level. Well, normal for a full-time graduate student. I have realized: 1) Grades don't matter beyond graduation. The important thing is that I become a good practitioner and I can do that with a 4.0 or 3.5, 2) At this late point in my grad school career, a 4.0 is likely not going to happen. I'll go ahead and blame my lazy professors who make up for their lack of effort in the classroom by grading more strenuously, and 3) I don't really care that much about my peers think and I definitely won't care what some random person I went to grad school thinks of me in a year. Heck, most of them probably won't even remember who I am and that is okay because I will have forgotten who they are as well.

So, here's to never attending another awards ceremony every again. It's just not good for me.