Fly, Run, Walk

Yesterday at church the sermon was taken from Isaiah 40. You know, the poetic those who hope in the Lord will mount up on wings as eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.

The gist of the sermon was that we occasionally soar like eagles, and we may often run, but we can always count on God to give us the strength to take at least one step. I am graduating on sunday and I cannot think of anything that more accurately sums up how God has sustained me throughout the last eighteen months.

I don't know how I could have done it without him. There were so many days I could barely get out of bed, barely get out the door, and barely make it to class on time. There were so many times I didn't know how to start a project, didn't think I could stay awake through class, and certainly didn't think I was going to make it to the end.

Somehow I was able to wake up each morning and take just one more step. I was able to type just one more sentence on that paper I thought I couldn't start. I pressed on one project at a time and I finally finished my coursework.

And here I am within days of graduation, weeks of finishing my internship, and have a promising job prospect. Without the reminder yesterday, I might have thought I was doing this in my own strength.

Who am I kidding? People do not complete a master's program in eighteen months without some kind of help. People do not do that in their own power. Thank goodness we can count on the God who gives us the strength to take just one more step.

329/365: Thank Full

I'm passed out on the couch after a delicious meal and even better dessert. Feeling very thankful and full of anticipation as we enter the advent season.

327/365: Foggy Morning

Come on sun, burn off the fog so I can see. Please!

326/365: Starbucks Has Nothing On Me

I'm jumping the gun on Christmas-y things and enjoying eggnog creamer. Tastes just like an eggnog latte from Starbucks.

325/365: Goodbye Range

Don't mind all of those dishes in the sink....it's going to be a crazy week around here.

Oh, and yes you are looking at where the range used to be. We were having some issues with burners not lighting and what not. So they took it away to (hopefully) fix it.

324/365: Weatherized

Yes, we weatherized today.

And yes, we now have the redneck version of the doors and windows with the blinds inside.

Not intentionally.

323/365: It Has Begun

Today I have officially started Christmas shopping. I still have a ways to go since I only bought one thing. Of course, my niece Savannah will be the easiest and funnest person to shop for this year. Baby clothes are the best!

322/365: Ye Olds Bus Stop

Today I was back in C-U for an intern meeting and a review for the LSW licensure exam. In less than a month I will be graduating and not long after that the internship will be over and I will hopefully have a job. I had every intention of parking and feeding a meter of the School of Social Work, but yesterday I forgot to go to the bank and get a roll of quarters so I was forced to revisit my favorite bus stop.

321/365: The Heavens Display The Glory of God

It's not often I actually get to watch the sun set on the way home because I am usually still working long after the sun has set. Of the joy of daylight savings time. Boo. Tonight I did get to enjoy the setting sun and it did not disappoint.

320/365: Words With Friends

Just some of the high points (no pun intended) of my Words With Friends conquests.

316/365: CFA

Today I was reunited with my long lost love, Chick-Fil-A. Hooray!

315/365: Harvest Cafe

Tonight Seth and I were introduced to a new restaurant, The Harvest Cafe in Delavan. All of their food is from local farms and all natural, organic, etc. I had the tomato soup and a burger and neither disappointed. We will definitely be returning!

313/365: UnCommon

I think my phone cover is a great way to insert a little personality into my life. Actually, my phone in general. You can really say a lot with text and ringtones. So far I love this case. It's super cute and I've even dropped it a couple times and the case has held up great.

312/365: No Help

I was on a tight schedule this afternoon and this very, very slow moving train did nothing to help.

311/365: Smells of the Season

I am loving the smell of pumpkin as the weather starts to turn cooler and actually feel like fall. So much so that I am burning candles as soon as I get up in the morning.

310/365: Best Cupcake Ever

Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law, Betsy. And thanks for the awesome cupcakes.

309/365: One for One

My go-to fall shoes. Flip flops are to summer as toms are to fall. I've heard they are making toms ballet flats that should come out in a few months. Yes, please.

308/365: Shopping Spree

There is no better way to start the weekend than by having an iTunes card burning a hole in my pocket.

307/365: One of These is Not Like The Other

Can you spot the difference between these two moccasins? Yea, the bow on the right is a little special. It came untied and just won't retie in a cute, attractive way. So very frustrating.

306/365: Free

We were fortunate enough to be the recipients of this loveseat. For free. Gotta love free stuff.

305/365: The Gift That Gives Back

Only 60 more days left this year!

Sadly, it took me a month to actually buy Seth's birthday present this year. It wasn't for not knowing what to buy him, but rather finding the time to sneak off and buy it without him knowing. This was very difficult since we only had one car for most of October. I finally had to set a deadline for myself and decided that one month was long enough, November 1st was the day. I just barely made it too. And I got a gift that we will both enjoy :)

304/365: Happy Haunting

Hodpodge Modpoge

October has been a big month. 

I finally dealt with having to say goodbye to my car. Yes, I was way too attached. I feel like this is God teaching me to deal with holding onto things with an open hand.

I was sad to see it go, but I am realizing that this is kind of a blessing in disguise, Left to my own devices I would have never decided to get rid of my car until I was forced to. I was holding onto it for a lot of emotional reasons, when the car was not practical at all anymore. 

Which brings me to the next thing that happened during October; last week we bought a new (to us) car. It's a lot bigger and roomier than my tiny ZX2, but it should serve us for many years into the future since it has fewer miles and four doors. Can I just say I am exceptionally excited to have four doors? Finally, I no longer have to worry about hitting myself in the head with my seat when letting someone in or out of the backseat. I am also looking forward to the anonymity of no longer having a personalized license plate.

I rolled over 80,000 miles just the other day on my way to work. Seth is also pretty jealous and insists on driving my car at every opportunity. Actually, it's not my car because both of our names are on the title. It's our car. How very adult of us, buying our first car together. The car we will probably buckle our children into someday. No, that's not a pregnancy announcement.

Hmm, this post has turned into a car update. Not going to lie, that's pretty much all we did this month. We were supposed to go to a few different weddings, but that got pushed aside for the more urgent necessity of needing to replace my car. 

We did rearrange the apartment again, but I don't know if I'll even get pictures of it because we are already planning to rearrange again since a loveseat is being given to us. Hooray for more seating!

Maybe in November I'll get back to posting photos daily and finishing out the year strong! One can dream....

Frustrations

I actually did take some pictures this week, I just haven't had time to upload them and then put words with those pictures.

I was really excited about the update for my iPhone that came out wednesday. We ran out of our internet usage for the month on thursday, when the download was just minutes away from being complete.

Right now, I am in a local coffee shop using their terrible internet. I didn't think that the internet could get any slower than our little hotspot we have. Well, it can. My plan was to update my iPhone and get some other stuff on the internet done. However, when I first plugged in my iPhone the estimated time it would take to download was 38 hours. I do not kid. Also, I managed to find a plug in, but it doesn't work. Currently, there are about 6 hours left but I think my computer will die before then.

Just checked the progress of the update and it is down to 4 hours, maybe there's a shot my computer will make it. Except I don't have 4 hours to sit in this coffee shop and wait for that to happen. Boo.

I'm actually not convinced the internet connection I have is even the coffee shop's. Maybe they got rid of the internet because the only people who come here are old folks. They are annoying and every time I look up at least one of them is staring at me. None of them probably even know what the internet even is.

Thoughts on Change

I remembered the other day that when I turned 24 I set all of these goals for myself that I wanted to accomplish before I turned 25. I then said I was going to revisit this list each month and see how I was doing. I think that lasted maybe 2 months and let me just tell you: I'm not making a lot of progress.

I think I really underestimated how much change was going to happen in my 24th year of life. I didn't know that Seth was going to get a different job or that we were going to move to a different town back in January.

However, I did know that I was going to be starting my internship and taking on a completely foreign to me schedule. I really did not think through how much that change would effect me though. I don't think I've ever had to work 4 days straight. There has always been a day in there to break things up so my body is really making a big adjustment to that.

I really noticed this after my car accident when every muscle in my body ached. By noon I was about to fall asleep at my desk -- this has happened every day I've gone into work since then. There just must be something about the particular muscles that move the most when you sit at a desk in front of a computer, or drive, or pretty much anything that has you moving your shoulders a lot.

All of this to say, I made some really lofty goals and I am now realizing that realistically they are not all going to happen. For my own mental health I just need to admit that. I really wanted to be able to run in a 5K this year, but with all of the other stuff going on in my life, the last change I want to make to my schedule is to decide to get up an hour earlier in the morning to run. (Sidenote: I think it will be easier to get up and run when I have control over my schedule everyday. My schedule isn't as flexible as it was when I first started, meaning I kind of have a routine, but I still have to work with other people a lot and I don't feel like I completely own my schedule.)

I've realized that when my life gets hectic I start getting back to basics. I cut out running and sleep a little longer. I don't cook dinner and we eat out. I'm not sure when I'll find the balance and be able to work out, have a full-time job, budget, meal plan, and not feel overwhelmed by trying to do it all.

I've decided that getting my master's degree is going to be a big enough accomplishment on it's own. And if I have a job...even better. Running a 5K would be nice, but there will always be a 5K I can run next year.

280/365: Corralling the Cord

So....every time I want to use my laptop away from my desk the cord falls behind the desk. Then I have to crawl under there later and attempt to get the cord back to the laptop. I'm just not flexible enough for that, so I usually end up getting the whole cord and dropping it back behind the desk again, which is extremely annoying. I've seen this idea on pinterest--using the big paper clip to hold the end of the cord in place. I finally, finally remembered to actually do it and I have to say it is fabulous.

It's all about the small things in life.

279/365: Takeout

I have to say, when I am stressed out cooking is the last thing I want to do. Seth got a B-Dubs gift card for his birthday so when he suggested we have wings for dinner I jumped at the opportunity.

278/365: Surprise

Today I came home and Seth had surprised me with roses. He told me that he looked for blue flowers too so that I could have Illini flowers but he couldn't find any. Love that husband of mine!

277/365: Issues of the Stove Variety

A week ago today our oven started acting funny. It's always taken forever and a day to heat up, but we just assumed it was the oven's own weirdness. Well, last week the oven never got warm at all. The next day someone (I'm not really sure who come to think of it) looked at it and identified the problem and said it would cost as much to fix as to just buy a new stove. Naturally this was the week I started meal planning. Naturally, everything I planned required an oven. Le sigh.

Well, on wednesday it was working again and it was working better than it had before. Weird. I think I decided that the oven replacement was not going to happen and I would be destined to use an apartment sized stove all of my life. But then on saturday morning I got a call from my landlord, who wanted to measure and make sure a new stove would fit. Ok, then.

This afternoon when I got home from work there was a new stove. And it is normal size! However, as you will notice, it is not usable. Apparently the guy who hooks up oven and the like was sick today. The nerve.

Just kidding. But you better not be sick tomorrow, oven-hooker-upper-guy.

Reset

For a whole myriad of reasons (like this or this) I have been slacking on posting daily pictures. It didn't help that I was super behind and that uploading pics takes forever because the internet is just a wee bit slow. It goes without saying that posting pics just wasn't a priority. It still isn't at the top of my list (just being honest!) but I am declaring a reset and I'm starting again fresh! I might go back and add in some of the pictures I took, but I'm not promising anything!



***Update: I went back and added in a lot of photos. I actually took them on those dates, just was a big ole slacker on getting them on the blog.***

276/365: It's All In the Details

Today I drove a rental for work and used it to take home one of the children who was actually in the accident with me. First let me say that she is 5 and the first time she rode in my car she called it a van. My car is about the furtherest thing from a van, being a compact two-door.

This rental car was black, and had four doors. Not really anything like my RED car. We walk outside to get in the car and the little girl says, "Your car got fixed!" Yep, she was pretty excited. On the way home I had to explain to her what rental cars are. So far I have taught her that not every moving vehicle is called a 'van' and that sometimes people drive cars that aren't theirs when other people 'bonk' into them. Good times.

Making Lemonade

Last monday I was in a car accident while I was transporting two children to the office. I am not going to lie, it was traumatizing and none of us were seriously injured. I have had a whole gamut of emotions since then, but mostly angry and sad. The other driver (who pulled out in front of me) walked away uninjured and with a drivable car. My car on the other hand, was not able to be driven away from the accident. To top it off, the other driver never even came over to see if I or the children with me were okay. Instead, he was hellbent on tearing off his fender. 

I had titled this post "I'm not good at making lemonade." I was really bitter about the whole situation. My car is emotionally charged and is an item of sentimentality to me. My grandpa bought it brand new for me when I was sixteen. It's the only car I have ever driven and I planned on driving it until it wouldn't go anymore. Just a couple weeks ago I replaced the brake pads for the first time. The day before the accident I filled up with gas. Earlier this year, I replaced the battery for the first time. I was less than two thousand miles away from rolling over one hundred thousand miles. When this guy ran into me he took all of that away from me. The last thing I wanted to do was think about making lemonade out of lemons. 

Then I checked out the guy on judici. I found that he had a record a mile long. Not so long ago he left the scene of an accident and didn't have insurance. A bit before that he had a DUI. Basically, every time this guy gets in a car he makes it his mission to screw up as badly as possible. Long story short, I am lucky this guy stayed at the scene, let alone that he actually had insurance. I'm starting to get a little bit better at making lemonade.

275/365: Imitation Soup

Even though the temperatures are set to get warm this week, I was in the mood for soup. I found what was supposed to be a Panera broccoli soup imitation. I can't say I've ever had Panera's broccoli soup so I actually have no idea how it compares. I really love Panera's tomato soup but Seth isn't a fan of tomato soup (even though he love tomatoes). It wasn't my most favorite broccoli soup but it definitely satisfied my soup craving!

273/365: Homecoming Parade

I'm not an alumnus yet, but I will be in just three short months! After going to to football game a few weeks ago, I have to say I am really feeling like an Illini. I'm turning into one of those weird people who loves college football, but only when it is their alma mater. It's kind of insane how into Illini football I have become. I actually don't mind at all when Seth wants to watch or listen to a game and hey are actually doing pretty well this season. 4-0 for the first time in years! Tonight was the homecoming parade, which was really random, but still a good time. There was a lot of I-L-L...I-N-I and random homecoming court members, one of whom had the worst hair I'd ever seen. But enough talk, onto the pictures.

The Chief made an appearance at the parade. He's not allowed at the games anymore thanks to NCAA regulations, but he was by far a crowd favorite at the parade.

The stunt and tumbling team was another favorite and they stopped to do some stunts right in front of us.

The actual cheerleader came later and they did this impressive stunt, of course it would have been more impressive if they all hadn't looked so nervous in the moments leading up to the lift.

Of course, it wouldn't be a parade without the Marching Illini.



***Update: The Fighting Illini are now 5-0 after winning the Homecoming Game!***

269/365: The Bane of My Existence

The buildings on the right side of this picture are being torn down. These buildings are just a block away from where I live. So far, I have not seen any progress being made, other than the arrival of the construction destruction equipment.

However, I have heard what must be progress, or at least what I hope is progress. For several days it was the sound of sporadic jack-hammering. Now, starting at 7:30 every weekday morning I am delighted to hear the sound of sledge-hammering. What they are sledge-hammering I have no idea as no signs of progress can be made. I am told that the sledge-hammering continues until at least four in the afternoon.

You would think after so many days spent doing this that there would be something to show for it...


***Update: Apparently there was some type of gas thingy (technical term) underground that was being dismantled. Thus, no visible progress.***

268/365: Cabin Fever

Today I took the apartment from this....

To this.

Seth was working at the Apple n' Pork Festival and I was getting cabin fever. Sure, I could have lounged in front of the tv all afternoon, but that is for the faint of heart! Instead, I did four loads of laundry, rearranged the bedroom, swept the entire apartment, and went grocery shopping. 

A productive afternoon indeed!

267/365: It's About Time!

So....I've had this frame since before I was married....

And today I FINALLY put some pictures in it.

All I can say is: It's about time!

266/365: Feeling Girly, Take 2

Can anyone see that shine? Yes, I painted my finger nails. Yes, I know it is clear, but it is a big step for me.

265/365: Jalapeno Poppers

I decided that the perfect complement to all of the tv show premieres tonight was the Pioneer Woman's jalapeno poppers! they were awesome!

Of course, now that The Office is back I no longer get to watch Project Runway in real time. No spoilers, please!

264/365: Fashion Diaries

A. I need to clean my mirror.

B. There is this thing taking over the Instagram world called Fashion Diaries.

I don't dress nice enough to actually post on there everyday. Well, it's not really a matter of nice enough, but more that I usually don't look that fashionable, put together or both. On wednesdays I dress pretty casually because I have a visit with four kids under the age of 7. Not really going to wear anything too nice for that so this is my best attempt at looking put together.

260/365: Alma Mater

Seth and I made plans with Matt and Becca and their adorable son, Charlie, to go to the Illini game against ASU. It was a highly publicized game and was televised on ESPN.

This was taken during one of the many breaks -- gotta allow time for all of those commercials. We sat in the horseshoe, opposite the student section at the other end of the field. Attending this game made me finally feel like I was a real Illini.

The halftime show did not disappoint. The Marching Illini were fabulous and the student section provided some entertainment as well.

This was a great game to go to because the outcome of the game came right down to the end. It was definitely entertaining and I paid attention the whole time, which is really saying something for me!

Is There A Point?

Sometimes I wonder what the point is to taking a picture everyday. Often, the photo I take isn't what I will really remember from that day. Monday through thursday I generally can't share openly what really happened that day. Sure there's more to my life than work, but it seems trivial to take a picture of that when lives are changing everyday where I work.

Even if I could share my day, it would just be inappropriate to take a picture. Like on monday, when I was dropping off a kid at his foster home and had to wake up the foster mom. And it was the first time I had ever met the foster mom. That was just awesome. Hey, wake up and by the way, I'm Jessica, nice to meet you.

Or on wednesday when I could hear the cries of a little girl who I think is being traumatized over and over again every time she has a visit with her parents. That's not really photo-worthy.

Thursday I took a picture on my way home. Many farmers have already started harvesting corn. Coming from a farm family I love the harvest. It reminds me of so much. However, that doesn't really sum up what I did on thursday. To post a picture of a combine and pretend like the rest of my day didn't happen just seems wrong.

Thursday morning we went to court and two teenage girls were placed in our custody. One of them refused to go with us, and then the bailiffs refused to help us, and the judge told them they didn't have to. Thanks, Mr. Judge, you tell us what to do and then don't give us the power to do it. We ended up calling the police and eventually she went with us. Eventually she looked at us and eventually she talked to us. It's amazing what some McDonald's can do. I hung out with her all afternoon and saw a whole gamut of emotions. And I honestly couldn't bring myself to even try to cheer her up. She summed up the day well when she said "this sucks."

Often I feel like posting pictures of my day makes it seem like every day is perfect and I'm always happy. But I'm not. Often I come home feeling sad or overwhelmed. But that's not all, I really enjoy doing what I'm doing deep down. Even on the days when it sucks I think deep down that what I am doing makes a difference. Or, at least I hope I am.

253/365: Never Forget

There were several hot air balloons flying over Lincoln today and one of them had an American Flag hanging from it (although I couldn't get a picture of it). The man who was flying that balloon actually called over to Seth's parent's home earlier in the afternoon to see if Seth knew anyone in the Armed Forces who was home so that they could let them know that they were doing this as a tribute to those who serve in the armed forces.

* * * * *

I know I will never forget where I was when I found out or how it made me feel. I was a freshman in high school and was sitting in an Introduction to Agriculture class.It was the class I had right before homeroom, which was right before lunch. It was probably 11:30am. I was sitting in the back left corner, near the teacher's desk. I was quietly doodling in my notebook since it was near the end of class and the announcements would be coming over the intercom anytime. Most of the others in the class were carrying on loudly and it was difficult to hear the announcements. Or, maybe it was the really old speakers. 

I remember hearing something about planes being flown into buildings and the evacuation of  national landmarks, as well as the state capitol building in Springfield. I remember feeling like it was not real and that it was all made up. The reality of what had happened had not sunk in. I don't remember what else was announced, or if anything was announced. I vaguely remember the teacher saying something about it, which made me realize this was real. But, really I still didn't get it. We talked about what had happened in english class that afternoon. It still didn't seem real.

I think my dad picked me up from school that day. I remember riding in the car with him and my twin brother. I remember the streets of our small town being packed with cars (for probably the first and last time) as everyone was trying to get the the small gas station in our town. I remember trying to reconcile what had happened in my fourteen year old mind. I couldn't do it. It seemed like the world around me was going crazy.

I remember later that week, being in science class and hearing "I'm Proud to be an American" over the intercom. I did feel proud, but I grew to loathe that song since it was played so frequently. I remember going to church later that year, near Christmas time. One of the preacher's sons, who was like an older brother to me was back from finishing college. I remember him telling me that he had joined the Marines and was being deployed the next month. 

Unfortunately, I also remember that as the days, weeks, and years passed I thought less and less about how we were a nation at war and more and more about my own life. It didn't really sink in how fortunate a nation we are that we do not have daily reminders of the war we are involved in. Several weeks ago, I began to notice that every monday when I drove to Springfield I would see Army vehicles. Seeing Army vehicles really freaks me out. The war is suddenly real. High school classmates of mine are out there on the front lines. This is very real. I don't want to forget the reality of what is happening around the world. I don't want to forget about all of those who serve in the Armed Forces who fight so that you and I can have freedom. 

252/365: Documentation

96 POINT WORD! Yes, I am just a little excited. Sadly, I am doing so poorly that I am still nearly 100 points behind after playing this word.

250/365: Baby Catcher

I started reading this book today and I have to say it is really fascinating. Now, I'm not planning on popping out babies anytime soon but this book (already) has made me think about what I want my birthing experience to be like.

Another really interesting part of this book is that the woman who is telling these stories started nursing school in the 1960s. Of course, that was a time of great change with the civil rights movement and all of that. She also got to see the change from childbirth being strictly "women's work" and men not being allowed into the delivery room to a time where that was accepted and even encouraged.

249/365: Creepy Crawlies

Let's be honest creepy crawlies sounds better than lice. At least when it comes to the title of a blog post. Last friday when I was at court I had to sit with the child for a while and well there was lots of hugging a playing and being close in general because I had a feeling I knew what was happening in court. The child was taken into foster care and that night she told her foster mom that she had lice, which she did. I didn't find this out until today though, so needless to say my head has been itching all day because I am paranoid.