In The Spirit Of Thanksgiving

I am choosing to be thankful today instead of bitter. There are so many circumstances that I would like to be different. However, I have much to be thankful for. Today I am going to dwell on those things. Thank you, God, for what I do have.

Found Art, A Reflection

Occasionally I make a stop over at Shauna Niequist's blog to check out what she's writing since I loved her book, Cold Tangerines. About a month ago she had a list of what she had been reading. On that list was Found Art by Leeana Tankersley. Leeana married a Navy Seal and moved with him from San Diego to Bahrain, and then wrote what she learned about God, herself, and the world along the way. Shauna sent me a copy and now I am doing my part and letting you all know about it.

This book was nothing if not interesting. I read it rather quickly once I actually found time to pick it up and I couldn't wait to read the next chapter and find out what happened in Leeana's life. However, I was kind of disappointed at the end. The book is non-fiction so that means that there is really no end to the story. I want to know what happens in this woman's life all the way up to the very end, but she is still living her life. There wasn't a clear conclusion and it bothers me. Not because I think its a poor way to end a book but because I like things to be cut and dried. I want to finish a book and not be left with so many questions. I want to know what happens to Leeana, but the truth is that Leeana doesn't know what happens to Leeana in the end because she hasn't lived it yet.

And that is really how I approach my life at times too. I want to know everything in advance. I like to plan and I hat not knowing what comes next. There seems to be this theme in my life right now--of not knowing what comes next. At some point I've got to figure out what God is trying to show me in the everyday. Thanks to Leeana for writing something that got inside of me and reminded me that there is a purpose to every season in life.

A Step Of Faith

Last tuesday I received a phone call from my last reference saying that she had submitted everything necessary, thus making my application complete.That call came about an hour after I got out of a meeting with my adviser, in which I told her I was quitting the program at the Seminary and informed her of my plans. She was very affirming of my decision and the meeting went really well. When I listened to the voicemail my reference left, I felt that was God's way of affirming my decision. I feel like all along the way I take little steps of faith and then God affirms them. For example, I applied and then found out I needed to take a stats class. It just so happens that LCU is offering a stats class as an intensive week (meaning I can get the pain over with in a week). My adviser then told me via email that stats class probably wouldn't work because most grad programs want a 4 or 5 hour stats class and LCU's is only 3. I emailed over to the U of I and found out within minutes that a 3 hour class is fine.

I now find myself in the land of waiting though. The School of Social Work's website gave me the impression that they review your application as soon as it is complete and let you know as soon as they have made a decision. Apparently that is not the case. I found out on friday that decision letters are not sent out until mid-March. That is a little over 4 months from now and I can do NOTHING. Lovely.

I am left with two options: 1) apply like mad to other programs or 2) wait. Choice #1 was my initial response. Social work programs only take new applicants in the fall so I feel like it is really important to be in one come fall 2010. However, after looking at several other programs I don't feel like any of them compare to the U of I. To put it bluntly, I feel like the U of I program was tailor-made for ME. It just seems like a great fit. It's one of the cheaper (cheap is relative) programs and also the shortest. They cater to those who have a bachelor's in an area other than social work. All of those things seem to be leading me to option #2: waiting. Although many around have assured me that U of I would be crazy not to let me it, I am not so confident. There is always the possibility that I will not be accepted. In some ways, I think this is another step of faith--a really big step--probably more like a leap off a cliff or something.

I know that I could apply to a ton of schools or just one and both of those options require faith. Initially I thought I was making the decision too spiritual by saying I would trust in God to get me into the U of I program. I'm not saying that their is anything particularly holy about their program (or any program), just that I feel called to be there. And if I feel like God has called me to be there I should trust that he's going to work it out.