Before I Turn 25

I want to spend my twenty-fourth year of life living purposefully, making conscious decisions that I can stand behind proudly. I want to set goals and keep them. I want to know what I am living for, so that I don't waste my time doing something that isn't going to help me achieve my goals.

In no particular order, my goals for the next year:

1. Blog regularly-I'm shooting for five days a week, but I'm not going to kill myself if it's only three or four-I'm in grad school after all.
2. Run in a 5K (officially).
3. Finish grad school- in December.
4. Hopefully by the time I'm 25 I'll have my first real job.
5. Read through the Bible-already started this one, so I should finish this in December too.
6. Stop playing meaningless games on my iPod. I'm ashamed to admit I get really addicted to my games and waste a lot of time. Today, I deleted those.
7. Make at least three meals a week.
8. Once it gets warmer, exercise 3 times a week. hmm...March maybe? I just can't run when there's snow on the ground. It doesn't sit right with me.
9. Get an internship--this goes along with finishing grad school.
10. Set aside time to spend with Seth each week. Whether it is a date, or just taking a walk together.
11. Before I turn 25 I will become more involved at church--volunteering, becoming part of a small group, something. I know I can't pull this off while I am commuting to classes. I may be able to pull this off during my internship, but for sure after it is over. I am giving myself an ultimatum: get more involved by 25.
12. Clean the apartment on a regular basis. I've already set up a weekly schedule, but then again I've already broken it too. I just need to make sure the floors don't go two months without being vacuumed.
13. Continue to grow my hair out. It has fairly dramatic layers right now and I'd like for it to be all the same length.
14. Don't color my hair. Yes, blonde may look fun from a distance, but it looks terrible on and takes forever to go away.
15. Don't buy anything for the apartment. I am not allowed to buy anything specifically for the apartment. We already have all the furniture we need and it is decorated enough.We aren't living here forever, so we don't need to buy anything that may potentially not work in a future home.
16. Spend more time with my family. I'd like to go visit at least every other month, especially since I have a niece now.
17. Purge, purge, purge. At least once a month go through my stuff and donate anything I don't wear or use on regular basis.
18. Manage stress better. I'd like to pray first before I fire off an angry email or cry because I get so frustrated trying to solve problems on my own.
19. Join the 21st century and get smart phones. Of course this means texting has to go so we can afford it.
20. I promise once I get a smart phone (aka iPhone) I will stop texting and driving. Mostly because it will be really difficult and by the time we get them I will have a five minute commute.
21. Do laundry at least every other week so I am not so overwhelmed by trying to do it all once. Getting married didn't double the laundry--it has multiplied exponentially.
22. Spend less time on the internet---and more time working on homework.
23. Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. And to listen to my body, when I am tired I need to send myself to bed.
24. Save money every month. Even if it is only $20. We need to learn to live on less than we make, not matter how little we make.

30/365: Aunt Jess

Last wednesday I became an aunt. Over the weekend I was able to meet my brand new, not even a week old niece, Savannah Grace. It was love at first sight. She slept on my lap for three hours yesterday afternoon and I absolutely loved every minute. I can't wait to see this little lady grow up.

Eve Of 24

This is the last day of my twenty-third year of life. Twenty-three was very exciting.

I planned a beautiful wedding.

I was accepted to grad school.

I got married to an amazing man.

I finished two semesters of grad school and maintained a 4.0.

I exercised regularly enough that I could have run a 5K if I wanted.

I became an aunt (just barely--my precious niece was born just three days ago!).

I had a live Christmas tree for the first time ever.

I have been cooking more than ever before---and enjoying it too.

I've added more miles to my car than I care to think about.

I am finally paying all of my bills and not relying on my parents financially. Feels good. Kinda.

Most months, I have made a budget and stuck to it.

Twenty-three certainly wasn't a cakewalk. There were hard moments. I am finding that the older I get, the more proactive I have to be. I cannot just let things happen to me. I cannot float aimlessly through life. I think that over the last year I have started making conscious decisions about what I am going to do with my life.

For better or for worse, I have made many important decisions on a whim. Aside from saying yes to Seth when he asked me to marry him (or date him for that matter), deciding to get my masters in social work was probably one of the first conscious decisions I made. I had drifted into seminary on a total whim, not quite ready to leave behind my collegiate lifestyle.

I have found that there is a great joy in making conscious decisions. I feel like I have control of my life. In a sense. Of course, there is the God piece. When I am making conscious decisions I actually pray about them in advance and can have peace about the outcome. When I just drift into the circumstances of my life I am praying, but it is usually something like, "dear God, please let this be the right thing....since I'm already here."

I am grateful for where I've been and what I've done and I'm happy to be where I am most of the time. I am thankful for most of the experiences I have had because I made decisions on a whim--like where to go to college. I am finding that I am much more appreciative of the decisions I've made consciously and with great effort and prayer.

27/365: Bittersweet

I don't know why it took me so long to buy this book. It might have something to do with grad school. Or maybe I was reluctant to buy something not deemed a "necessity."

Once I finally purchase Bittersweet, I devoured its contents within a matter of days. Apparently my declined interest in reading applied only to my grad school textbooks. Bittersweet has refreshed me. I should have bitten the bullet and bought it as soon as it was released. Maybe it would have spared me some of the heartache I have experienced during this hard, somewhat bitter season of life.

Suffice it to say: grad school has been a really hard transition for me and Bittersweet is all about changes and transitions. I now understand why I don't even recognize the person I've been for at least the last month. And I'm looking forward to walking through the rest of this transitional season with a clearer head and more grounded feet.

26/365: Post It

Sticky notes. I love sticky notes. I love making lists and sticky notes make it so easy to have lists going on all over the place. I am now officially 1/4 of the way through my sticky notes. As many lists as I have made, I truly thought that I would work my way through this stack much more quickly than I have. It's like a bottomless stack of sticky notes--every list-maker's dream. Goodbye, pink sticky notes. Hello beautiful, bright orange.

25/365: Psych!

Yesterday I was complaining via my facebook status that I absolutely loathed a certain professor for requiring us to bring the DSM-IV-TR to each and every class. Anyone who has ever taken a psych class will know what I am talking about. It is a large book that is difficult to navigate, even when you are halfway through grad school.

I did not want to buy this book, let alone bring it to class. The DSM can be found in almost every library, however it cannot be checked out because it almost always resides in the reference section. Problem: if I am going to bring this book to class I need to be able to check it out. I don't want to buy a book simply because the library won't let me check it out. Additionally, there is going to be a new edition published sometime next year and why shell out my hard-earned money when they are just going to change everything in a year. One more thing-I am quite sure that every social service agency owns at least one copy of the DSM, thus decreasing the chance I would want to own one for the sake of using it later in my profession.

Thankfully, a friend from college saw my whiny status and graciously offered to let me borrow hers for the semester. For the record, I still dislike that I have to tote this very large book to campus once a week, but at least I don't have to buy it.

24/365: Townie

It is now official. I am a townie. I have to admit to myself that I have finally been sucked into the black hole and I am officially a townie. I have been to a high school basketball game. There is no denying it. I might as well just face the facts. I am no longer just a student. I have no idea when I will actually move out of this town. I am a townie.

21/365: Sweetness

My sweet husband picked up a bouquet of roses for me on his way home from work last night. I had a rough day of trying to figure out school stuff.

Honestly, almost every day that I spend trying to accomplish anything towards my independent study is a rough day. I literally feel like my professor and I are speaking two different languages and I pronounce everything wrong. Although, I actually think I am pronouncing everything right and he is misunderstanding.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is: my husband knew I'd been having a rough week and he bought me roses because he is amazing.

20/365: Coffee Buddy

Today was the first day I was able to use this amazing Christmas present from the little boy I babysat last semester. I'll admit I feel a little bit like a soccer mom sporting a coffee mug with a small child's face on it, but I really don't care. Unfortunately, the roads were so terrible today that I didn't even get to use the mug for its intended purpose. But I did sit at my desk and drink from it once I made it back home.

Letter To A PhD

Before I met you, PhD was a title that I respected.

Since we've been in contact, you have done nothing but continue to impress me with your epic levels of incompetence.

Insisting I send you a copy of my outline before our meeting and then failing to open it until I show up at your office for the meeting?

Taking four weeks to reply to an email?

Apparently, lacking the ability to fill out a simple outline?

Most of all, I am impressed by your ineffectiveness at communicating anything.

I am simply part of a guessing game and each time I send you an email I hope that it is what you are looking for. When it inevitably isn't what you want, I guess again. Here's hoping I find what you are looking for before saturday.

19/365: Scratch

The bottom of this mixing bowl is less than ideal. I've had it since Christmas 09 and have always wondered why there was a label at the bottom. I figured it should peel off, but it never did. Tonight when I was washing dishes I decided to give it another go. It started scratching off. As in, scratching off like one would scratch a lottery ticket off. I'll be honest, I am a little hesitant to use it again for fear whatever this is will contaminate my food.

18/365: Fresh

The church I attend is reading through the Bible this year. I don't know that this would fall under the category of resolution, so much as goal; but my husband and I are reading through the Bible this year. So far we are doing pretty good at keeping up with the reading. We might miss a day but the daily amounts are small enough that it isn't a big deal to catch up the next day.

I'll be honest, the NIV translation has become stale for me. I could not see myself actually being motivated to read everyday out of the NIV. I have a bachelor's degree from a Bible college, for crying out loud. I've dabbled in the Message and I enjoy it, but it wasn't quite what I was looking for. I ended up deciding to read the English Standard Version (which I ordered and received in the mail today, hence the picture). It is a slightly higher reading level than the NIV, which is exciting for me as a graduate student. I want to read at a level that will challenge me and will not be something that I can scan over and still grasp the meaning.

I am hoping that reading this new-to-me translation will give me fresh eyes for scripture and deepen my understanding.

17/365: Make Your Bed

One of my resolutions this year (more on that later this month) is to make the bed everyday. Our apartment is small, small, small so it is easy for it to begin to look cluttered very quickly. Making the bed everyday is one easy way to dramatically decrease the appearance of clutter. Also, we paid good money for our bedding so I think I should be able to enjoy seeing it all day long. I don't always make my bed as soon as I get up, but I make sure it gets made at some point during the day. It just makes me feel better. It's pretty.

14/365: Improvisation

Calzones....yum. This was one of the first recipes that I tried from the PW cookbook. The first was her pizza. My husband liked it so much that he insisted we have pizza two nights in a row. I made a double batch of the pizza dough so I used the other half of it for calzones.

I'm not going to lie, I was very concerned about these. The recipe involved division. I had to divide both the dough and the filling into eight parts. I'm pretty good at division on paper but not so much when it comes to food. I had a significant amount of filling left over so that had me concerned.

I popped the pan in the oven and tried to wait patiently for the calzones to be done. Fifteen minutes later, I opened my oven to find that they were not cooking. The calzones were not golden brown as promised. I'll be honest, I was not too surprised. You see, my oven is ridiculous. For starters, the oven dial has no numbers on it so I am always guessing as to what temperature the oven is actually at. I figured that the temperature was lower than recommended so I would just leave them in a little longer. A few minutes later and no golden brown calzones. I noticed that the bottoms were turning a deep brown, while the top was barely cooking at all. That prompted me to notice only the lower coil in the oven was on. This was very annoying, but I was not going to be deterred by my ridiculous oven. I flipped the calzones over and began to put them in the oven only to notice the bottom coil was no longer burning a bright orange-ish red. The top coil was bright orange, however. Flipped 'em back over and all was well just a few minutes later. Thank goodness!

13/365: P-Dub

One of my Christmas presents was the Pioneer Woman Cookbook. I absolutely love it. I found about her from a friend of mine and have been following her blog for several months now. My favorite part about her blog and the cookbook is that he posts pictures of each and every step. If I have any doubts about a recipe or if it looks a little weird to me I consult her pictures. So far, so good.

12/365: Gathering

This is my most recent wedding present. Yes, I have been married for almost five months. Better late than never is what I say. I absolutely love this frame that my dear friend Joni gave me. I didn't even know I wanted one of these until I walked into Joni's house on monday afternoon. She has one hanging on her wall and as soon as I saw it I fell in love. Now, every time I see this frame I will be reminded of her...and I will wish we could 'gather' together more often.

11/365: Lost & Found

No, I am not trying to make a spiritual statement today. Yes, I think it is a good thing to seek God with all of your heart, but that's not exactly the point I am trying to make. I actually found this coloring sheet all folded up on the floor of my apartment. Where it came from, I have no idea. It appears to be fairly old and is definitely not a freshly colored page. There is no crayola to be smelled here. What is more, the name 'Doreen' is written at the top of the page. Anybody know a Doreen? Not I.

Discontentment

Discontentment. I cannot shake this feeling lately. It's everywhere.

I have slept until eleven almost every morning this week. Before I even get out of bed I feel like I have wasted half the day. When I feel like the day has already been wasted I am not any more motivated to get up. It's a never-ending downward spiral, not to mention a horrible sleep pattern.

School starts in just over a week. Just thinking about school overwhelms me. The homework. The driving. Buying textbooks.

My internship starts on May 15th. I have no idea where it will be. I am genuinely freaked out and feel so unprepared to go on internship. More unprepared than the spring semester of classes will help.

Then there is the tiny apartment. It is so small and cramped. There simply is not room for all of our stuff. There is constantly a pile of stuff to give away and yet there is still too much for the apartment. I feel like all I do is just move the clutter from one place to another. It is a pointless, never-ending cycle that makes me feel better for a day or two.

These are all relatively small ways in which I feel discontent. If it were just one I am sure I could handle it. I fact I probably wouldn't even notice it.

Maybe the point is that I am supposed to notice. Up until now I thought all of this was unholy discontentment-- I was not supposed to feel this way. But, what if this a holy discontentment that is leading me to God and leading me to find true contentment in Him?

5/365: Third Pic(k)

This is actually my third pick of pictures I would have posted today. originally, I thought I would post a pic of my good friend Sarah and I but I slacked and didn't get a picture taken. the other pic I wanted to post would have been my neighbor's cat who I found in the hallway this afternoon. Instead I did the noble thing and took their cat back. what I was left with was my delicious Olive Garden leftovers. yum!

4/365: Supplemental Income

These are the books I sold on amazon today. I have yet to mail them though.... Also, you will notice that these are sitting on my desk. Maybe tomorrow the picture will focus on something that is not my desk or anything on my desk. Who knows?

3/365: Productivity

I moved my desk to the opposite side of the living room today. so far, so good. My desk chair will no longer be directly in front of the tv, so perhaps I will be more productive. Productivity would be a good theme for this year.

Also, it took me a good thirty minutes to figure out how to move the picture to the left rather than the center. Yes, I am in grad school.

Project 365ish

I've decided to do the photo project 365 whatever thing.

What's that you say? No pictures yet on ye old blog?

I'm only going to post photos monday thru friday, which will get interesting once school starts since I'll be away from home pretty much all day on tuesdays. Maybe I'll double up on wednesdays...who knows?

Stay tuned for an exciting picture later. Hopefully after a successful move of my desk.