Eve Of 24

This is the last day of my twenty-third year of life. Twenty-three was very exciting.

I planned a beautiful wedding.

I was accepted to grad school.

I got married to an amazing man.

I finished two semesters of grad school and maintained a 4.0.

I exercised regularly enough that I could have run a 5K if I wanted.

I became an aunt (just barely--my precious niece was born just three days ago!).

I had a live Christmas tree for the first time ever.

I have been cooking more than ever before---and enjoying it too.

I've added more miles to my car than I care to think about.

I am finally paying all of my bills and not relying on my parents financially. Feels good. Kinda.

Most months, I have made a budget and stuck to it.

Twenty-three certainly wasn't a cakewalk. There were hard moments. I am finding that the older I get, the more proactive I have to be. I cannot just let things happen to me. I cannot float aimlessly through life. I think that over the last year I have started making conscious decisions about what I am going to do with my life.

For better or for worse, I have made many important decisions on a whim. Aside from saying yes to Seth when he asked me to marry him (or date him for that matter), deciding to get my masters in social work was probably one of the first conscious decisions I made. I had drifted into seminary on a total whim, not quite ready to leave behind my collegiate lifestyle.

I have found that there is a great joy in making conscious decisions. I feel like I have control of my life. In a sense. Of course, there is the God piece. When I am making conscious decisions I actually pray about them in advance and can have peace about the outcome. When I just drift into the circumstances of my life I am praying, but it is usually something like, "dear God, please let this be the right thing....since I'm already here."

I am grateful for where I've been and what I've done and I'm happy to be where I am most of the time. I am thankful for most of the experiences I have had because I made decisions on a whim--like where to go to college. I am finding that I am much more appreciative of the decisions I've made consciously and with great effort and prayer.