Paralyzed

This is probably just saying what I said yesterday, only in a different way. However, this blog is for me and not for you and I feel like I need to write the same thing in a different way.

When it comes to homework, I feel paralyzed. It occurred to me in the shower this morning that the reason I am paralyzed come from one source. My bleeping independent study. Halfway into the semester I still don't know what my instructor wants and I am still dreading doing anything for that class. Since I dread doing anything for that class I decide that it makes total sense to not do any homework at all.

This is how I get to the end of spring break and have accomplished nothing. I'm beginning to think that I decided to paint the whole apartment in an effort to avoid homework and still feel productive.

I have written a to-do list. I wrote one a few weekends ago when I was feeling very overwhelmed by school. I wrote another one before spring break. I finished a few random things on that one and started a new one that included the things I hadn't done from the old one.

Guess what? I basically did nothing that was on that list because it meant at some point I was going to get to the point I had to do the reading/paper writing for my independent study. After I had my epiphany in the shower this morning I decided that I just needed to start somewhere. So I did. However, I haven't got to any of the school related stuff on the list.

The paralysis continues . . .